I ran across a website this week that allows a visitor to put literally anything he or she may choose on the front or back of a t-shirt. My twenty something readers might be quick to point out that most malls in the 1980's had a similar store where you could get hundreds of different designs and letters ironed on to a t-shirt. This is different for two reasons: 1) You can get anything you want or can find, not just 5 different versions of Arnold from "Diff'rent Strokes" that will fade after one washing, and 2) the process is automated so you don't have to explain to a store worker why you want "Pinky Diddlesworth" ironed on to the back of your t-shirt.
Besides t-shirts, this website also has onsies for babies (apparently they are called "infant creepers"). Being that three people in my life are all scheduled for birth sometime in the first three months of 2006, I tried to imagine how cool it would be if I showed up at the hospital with a custom onsie that said "Playa Hater" on it in gothic letters.
Here are other things that might be good for a newborn's shirt:
* A picture of me and no words
* "My parents can kick your parents' ass"
* "Congratulations Mom and Dad, you did it! (but I won't want to talk about "it" with you for the next 18 years)
* "Pinky Diddlesworth"
* "Al Sharpton - 2004"
* "I can't read this"
* "Pimp"
* "Future Lady's Man"
* "Hey everybody, come and see how good I look"
I'm sure there are many others. In fact, I'm pretty sure that almost anything on a baby's clothing would elicit some sort of laugh, either because it's truly humorous or it's so uncomfortably inappropriate that the only way to save face in front of the parents is to laugh. Either way, we're cool.