If you had a magic vending machine in your living room that never ran empty and was free but could only hold five things, what would you stock it with?
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Here are my five:
1) Soft Serve Vanilla Ice Cream
2) Golden Grahams Cereal
3) Cold Beer
4) Ninja Throwing Stars
5) Mach Three Turbo Replacement Razor Blades
I knew that one of my choices had to be a dessert, but I didn't want to pick my favorite dessert because I'm afraid I would grow sick of it. I wanted something that could be served by itself or as a complement to almost any other type of dessert. Naturally, vanilla soft serve ice cream is the answer.
Golden Grahams are just damned good. How do they squeeze all that graham goodness into each tiny square? I may never know, but with a magic vending machine, I wouldn't go without that sweet golden taste ever again.
Beer. I don't drink it, but it seems that everyone else does. I'm a ruthless business man, but I surely wouldn't use my magic vending machine only for personal gain. Thus, I would choose to have an unlimitedly supply of cold beer for the enjoyment of all who visit the sober household. The irony.
I think that every American male at some point during his childhood dreamed of being a ninja. If I had a magic vending machine, that dream could become a reality for me and all those who ever dreamed of launching a razor sharp ninja throwing star into the nearest wall. Don't worry, they are unlimited and free, so through as many as you'd like. Just remember that ninja throwing stars and beer don't mix, but ninja throwing stars and soft serve vanilla ice cream does.
Unfortunately for all of us American youth ninja wannabees, the reality for most of us is the only blade we will ever yield is not the powerful katana or sai, but the disposable razor replacement. Those things are expensive, and I'm sick of paying $12 for four razor blades (I guess I'm really getting twelve blades total, but only four replacement heads). If I had a magic vending machine, I'd never have to buy blades again and I'd never have to go through that one week of hell at the end of the four pack when the last blade is dull but I'm too poor/lazy to run up to Walgreens to spend another 12 bones. I realize that if I was a true ninja, I could use the ninja throwing stars to shave and pick something else, but I'm not quite ready for that level of badassedness.
So what would you have in your magic vending machine?