Sober Musings

In a lot of ways I would consider myself to be a very average person, especially lately. I haven't really pushed myself to achieve greatness, and I haven't stretched my mind too much outiside of its normal boundaries. In fact, since I graduated from college I would be hard pressed to name a single crowning achievement in my life.

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There is something that I have been working hard at now for several years, and just last week I finally achieved the task that I set out to do long ago. I officially weigh the most that I ever have. I stepped on the scale last week and it registered at a number that I have never achieved. Needless to say I am thrilled. It's not often that someone achieves such a milestone in their life.

I wish that I could contribute my record setting weight to my own hard work, exercise, and training, but the real thanks goes to all of my friends, family and co-workers who have pushed me to eat more and more food, often without regard to nutritional value.

First and foremost, I'd like to thank my family. My parents like to eat healthy, but they always have plenty of food for me when I'm over for dinner. My mom's skillful combination of fruits, vegetables and high calorie deserts were the foundation of my achivement, and without her and the rest of the family, I would have never even dreamed of going down the road I have traveled.

I'd also like to thank my friends, who never let me walk away from an eating challenge and who always encourage me to finish my plate and the plate of those around me. Whether it be a pile of hot wings or a stack of ice cream sandwiches, my friends constantly push me to new levels of excellence. They often put their own personal gains aside so that I can eat the last three pieces of pizza or the last half pound of greasey pub fries.

I owe some of the credit to the readers of SoberDan.com. Without your loyalty to my site, I would have no reason to spend an hour each evening in front of the computer screen. I dare say that I might actually exercise if I didn't spend my time making this site. Thank you from saving me from the perils of exercise.

And finally I'd like to thank my co-workers, who consistently bring in doughnuts, cake, pie, and other sugary snacks. Your contribution to my weight is paramount to all others. Thank you for resisting the urge to bring carrots or celery to work. The trans-fats that you constanly make available continue to be a source of weight gain for me.

I'm very fortunate to be surrounding by people who are so supportive. As I continue to balloon in weight, I look forward to sharing my accomplishments with those who are nearest to me. Thank you again, for your help and support, and I'll keep you posted on my future achievements.